March may be a little late to be talking New Years’ Resolutions but that’s ok because I’m hoping this is as much of a lifestyle change as turning my life around to be healthy has been.
I’m not sure when it started, but I feel lately like I’ve been living most of my adult life in “when” and “if” land. I’m waiting for some magical day when everything is in place before I actually do anything. Kind of like I need to be successful first, work for it later. It’s a really toxic and illogical way to look at things.
There are a million and one quotes on the internet to describe it. “Time passes anyway”, “a year from now you will wish you started today”. No matter which one you choose, they all amount to the same thing: just freaking do something – even if you don’t make it, you’ll be closer than if you did nothing at all.
This is tragic to admit in a public forum but I really fail at being an adult. Fail at any kind of follow through really. I’m working on it though – setting myself small goals that really should be part of any grown up’s schedule. Making them realistic for me – working with my strengths, acknowledging my weaknesses and taking baby steps to work on them. Doing what I can, where I am, with what I have. One thing at a time.